I'm Angry, but God is Sovereign, Emily Chung

I am twenty-two years old. I first wandered into a local church meeting at the age of eight, when my family moved to a new city and was looking for a church. We visited the nearest local church on the advice of one of my mother's colleagues at work and, liking it better than all the other denominations we had tried, decided to stay.

I graduated less than a year ago from the University of California at Berkeley, with a double major in electrical engineering and computer science (with honors) and molecular and cell biology. In my first year at Berkeley I took a math class in linear algebra and differential equations. Being an engineering/science major who had almost gone to M.I.T., math was one of my best subjects. Not only so, I actually really enjoyed this subject (linear algebra) and this class, which usually meant that I would do exceptionally well in the class. Unfortunately, I made stupid mistakes on the first midterm, which wasn't particularly hard. Determined to do better next time, instead I did the same or even worse due to a misunderstanding of a problem on the second midterm. I was so upset. I spent the rest of the day angry with myself, in particular, and with the world, in general.

At that time in my life I was reading through an exposition of the book of Genesis by Witness Lee, which was giving me much help and understanding. So that day I picked up the book and started reading where I had last left off, still upset. It was talking about Abraham in Genesis 12, and how his trials were actually under God's sovereign arrangement. The exposition didn't stop there, but applied the situation to us, making the stories in this ancient book so practical and fresh to us today. It said that just like with Abraham, God is sovereign and in control of your situation, even arranging for you to be reading this right now!

When I read that, I felt utterly convicted. When I read that outwardly, the Lord was speaking inwardly. Didn't I know I was under His care? Didn't I trust the Lord with what was going on? In this situation I just needed to turn to God, and trust and thank Him! Although I wasn't made instantly happy again, just by reading that book I was turned back to the proper direction: facing God.